I ran across a status on Facebook a few days ago where a few people were discussing an article that is about three women who held a guy at gun point and raped him. Rape is not always penetration for men or women, but any sexual act that is unwanted. In the Merriam-Webster dictionary the definition of rape is as follows:
Reading the discussion others were having with the article above, it struck me how many men were laughing it off and making jokes about the rape. “I could never get so lucky” , “I hope they were hot babes”, and the worse in my opinion was “what kind of weak ass man gets himself raped by women?” It truly was no surprise, to me, that the women were taking a stand against rape, even when there was a man was involved. Men are taught from a young age that men are not able to be raped because they are the masculine gender, which means they have to be the stronger gender. So, if a man says they have been raped by a woman then they have to be joking, and of course they wouldn’t ever admit to being raped by a man, without losing their own masculinity.
None of these statistics count for those men who do not report their rape. Such as the estimated 13,900 military men who experience unwanted sexual contact a year. However, in 2014 National Crime Victimization Survey asked 40,000 households about rape and sexual violence and discovered some rather shocking numbers, the percentage of men who have been raped had gone up. 38 percent of incidents were against men, where in years past men had accounted for somewhere between 5 and 14 percent of rape and sexual violence victims. These survives were only taking into effect the basic definition of rape “those forced to penetrate or be penetrated at force”, in the 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey every type of sexual non-consensual rape was taken into account, not just penetration, then the rates of non-consensual sexual contact basically equalized, with 1.270 million being women and 1.267 million being men claiming to be victims of sexual violence.
Researcher Lara Stemple from Health and Human Rights Project at UCLA has also found in her research that The experience of men and women is “a lot closer than any of us would expect,”. For some kinds of victimization, men and women have roughly equal experiences. Stemple concluded that we need to “completely rethink our assumptions about sexual victimization,” and especially our fallback model that men are always the perpetrators and women the victims. We need to stop thinking that men can’t get raped, that no matter how many times they say no, they secretly like it. That only little boys can be raped and only because they get threatened and coerced.
Many say will if a man has an erection he must want sex, so if he is saying no, he is still wanting it especially because we assume men are sexually insatiable. But what if it was said the same were women are concerned “You got wet, you must of wanted it, even though you said no”. The mere presence of physiological symptoms associated with arousal does not in fact indicate actual arousal, much less willing participation! No still means NO..it doesn’t mean Yes, It doesn’t mean Maybe, it means NO for ALL Genders!
So how about, as a blog I recently read said: Become accepting – Become supportive – Become Connected!